Sunday, January 26, 2014

Playboy Ads

 I've been reading a lot of blog posts lately that, frankly, have been pissing me off. Too much of "if you're kinkier than me you're too extreme but if you're not as kinky as me you're too vanilla" and "I'll use whatever words I want if you don't like it then too bad but if you use words I think are stupid I'll laugh at you and show you the door" and "we should all embrace all types of kinks and fetish but only as long as it doesn't intrude onto my play space if you trespass onto my turf I will sneer at you until you leave you ignorant newbie."
My head is not in a good place right now to write my own blog post about something kinky or kink related.
Then I remembered I haven't done a Playboy Ad post in, like, forever! So thank you, Playboy, for rescuing me from coming across as an arrogant, needy, self-righteous bitch. (Wait. Too late?)
Playboy: the sub-blogger's inspiration.

This post brought to you by the lovely ladies of August 1990.
This issue is chock full of those music clubs ads. You remember those? Choose six or eight or twelve CDs, agree to buy just one in the next year, and that's it?

As nothing but a favor to you, of course, they will send you a brand new CD every month, and have the courtesy to bill you for it! And if you don't like it, you can have a full ten days to return it, and they will graciously take it back! Because they are so nice!

I was not surprised when these clubs went out of business.

 You've got your movie clubs ads, too. Can't forget about those. Anybody want to watch Batman? Like, the very first one?

(Does anybody still own a VCR? We won't tell.)                                                                                      

If listening to music is your thing, though, this "Sony D-35 Discman" might be just for you. It makes it "easier than ever to create perfect tape compilations"!

(I can hear my son asking: Mom, what's a tape?)

Now for listening to music in the car, a Pioneer is what you're after!

I love it how the ad starts with, "believe it or not, compact disc for the car has been around for awhile. There are even a chosen few who could actually afford to buy one."

Really? I had no idea!

Of course now, the compact disc for the car has been gone for a while. But there are still a chosen few who might actually listen to one.

(Okay, I admit it. I still have some CDs in my car. I am old.)

This thing is supposed to be one of those high-priced fancy-shmansy toys for "real" Playboy men.

It allows you to play CDs and LPs (!!) on the same equipment, for the tidy price of $349.95.
The price includes the 30-function (gasp) remote control!

Last, but not least, is this:
I actually really wanted one of these things when I was a kid. It looked so cool. I guess the word "kareoke" hadn't been invented yet.
Feel old now, too? I know, I know. Sand through the hourglass and all that. It's okay. If it makes you feel any better, our kids will probably be showing their kids the iPods, trying to explain how they used to listen to music, and their kids will probably be asking the same kinds of questions. "What's an iPod?"

Yeah, that didn't make me feel any better, either.

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