I got side-railed there. Sorry. So much crap going on, so many narcissists to deal with...so little time.
|If only I could send pictures through DMs...|
After Husband and I were done with our little sexcapades, we both headed downstairs for some fluid replacement. I don't know about you, but me? After sex, I get thirsty.
It was then I realized how late it was. Oldest son was not home; he was at a party at a friend's house, about fifteen minutes away. So before I poured myself that glass of water, I texted him to let me know when to pick him up.
Now, he wrote back.
Here is where I got stupid: without a second thought, I grabbed up my purse, put on my shoes, and told Husband I was going to pick up our son. He was fine with it, of course. He didn't see a problem, either.
I got to the house, and Son comes out...along with three friends. Can we give them a ride home? He asks. Sure, I reply; get in. So all four kids get into my car, and the first one starts giving me directions to his house.
That's when things started to get dangerous. My legs began to shake, and my thoughts began to disconnect, like frayed rope being pulled apart.
I was going through subdrop.
It hadn't occurred to me I would, or even could. Husband and I hadn't done anything all that different that night. Yes, I had engaged in humiliating behavior that was rather new for me, but it didn't feel like it was supposed to be that big of a deal. I had not gone through anything painful; the scene, as it was, had not even taken all that long. I had not been restrained, or beaten, or put on any kind of restriction.
But the new experience, the one single, and supposedly minor, difference in his tactics of humiliation, was enough to send me into a new field of subspace at the time, and now, I was paying the price. I was crashing.
Obviously, since I'm writing this now, you know everything turned out okay. I took deep breaths, focused on my driving, and everyone got home okay. I wish I could tell you this was the first time I had ever driven while in the midst of subdrop, but it was not. I knew how to handle it.
But it was not safe. It was no okay. I had four kids in my car, three of whom were not my own, and I was not in 100% control of my faculties. It was fucking wrong.
Moral of the story: Subdrop can hit after any journey into subspace, no matter how fleeting, no matter how shallow. It can hit right away, or it can hit after a delay. But--and this is true especially after a new technique/toy/kinky experience--you should always be ready for it.
This means that next time Husband wants to send me whooshing off into subspace? He better be ready to drive.